When Exercise Feels Like a Four-Letter Word

We all have those days when exercise feels more like hard labor, when every step is a heavy one and each movement takes much more effort than it should. I’m no athlete by any stretch, but I also know that exercise is critical to my mental health. I freely acknowledge that I did not expect, nor was I in any way prepared for, the extent to which my body would change and stay changed after giving birth. Both of these conditions last for many months postpartum when half the time I manage to get out to go jogging or do any sort of physical activity, nothing feels quite like it did pre-partum. Wow and is it SO hard to get that exercise when all I want is to feel how I used to!

As a result, whether you’re feeling physically spent or mentally drained — or simply can’t motivate yourself off of the couch to begin with — “I don’t want to do the workouts that I already have programmed” days happen. During these trying times, nurturing a sense of self-empathy can go a long way, allowing you to meet exercise challenges with kindness and resilience instead of frustration and self-denigration.

Recognizing the Struggle

First, it’s worth accepting that feeling like exercise is “crap” is pretty normal. Bodies and brains aren’t always aligned perfectly, and any number of external variables, like stress or lack of sleep — or even just mood swings — can influence how you feel about your workout. Step one on the path of self-empathy is recognizing that these feelings are normal and okay.

Practicing Self-Acceptance

The practice of self-empathy begins with accepting that not every workout is going to be a rocket and that’s alright. That a session feels hard is not an indication that you are failing, or that you’re not committed. It simply means you’re human. If you can accept this, it will reduce a lot of pressure and guard against talk-myself-down bullshit getting in the way of what you’re doing.

Reframing the Experience

Rather than seeing a tough workout as a setback, consider it as an opportunity to surge forward. For your overall mental and physical health — no matter how it feels in the moment! Even on days when you’re struggling the most, you’re still making some effort to take care of yourself. Remind yourself that progress isn’t a straight line, it’s equally important to show up for yourself and put in effort even when things get tough.

Setting Realistic Expectations

On days when exercise is feeling really hard to do, it’s worth having realistic expectations. If you’re struggling right now, it might be better to back off on your routine instead of muscling through. Scaling back the length of your workout, or adjusting the exercises to reflect how you are feeling can help you to stay present without pushing yourself past the point of fatigue. But changing your expectations to match the level your body is at now, can actually prevent feelings of being “not-coping” and make it easier for you.

Being Kind to Yourself

When exercise seems like a slog, it’s simple to fall into the rut of voicing harmful self-affirmations. Instead, work on talking to yourself with kindness. So think about what you’d say to a friend who was struggling with the same challenge — it’s probably something along the lines of “We all make mistakes,” or “You were doing your best.” Offer that same kindness to yourself. Keep reminding yourself that it’s not about your bad days — your bad days don’t define you.

Celebrating Small Wins

Celebrate the little victories even when it feels hard. The fact that you finished a workout, even if it didn’t look like how you planned it to look, is an accomplishment. Acknowledging and cherishing them, no matter how small they appear. Commemorating these little victories can raise moral and inspire us to continue.

Embracing Rest and Recovery

Self-empathy also means knowing when to give yourself a break. If exercise feels painful, it may be a sign that either your body or mind needs to recover. Give yourself permission to be easy on yourself. Rest is crucial in any fitness regimen, not just to allow your body to recover and recharge, but also for you to gain space and perspective.

Seeking Support

If the feeling of frustration lingers, you might want to reach out to a friend, personal trainer or even therapist. Hearing other people’s challenges can give you new perspectives and practical advice. Sharing your experience with others can also help you feel less isolated and more validated.

Final Musings

Nurturing self-empathy when exercise feels like crap is also about being kind to yourself, understanding and gentle. It’s about understanding tough days are a part of the journey and seeing these obstacles as a chance to grow. Through the practice of self-acceptance, recalibration of what you’re asking yourself to do, and attention to each small victory, challenging workout days can become a time when we choose with resilience and compassion for ourselves. And most of all, remind yourself that everything you do is a step to better health and adopt self-empathy because it will only improve the way you pursue fitness. For more advice or useful articles, see our other blogs. Or contact Paper Birch Therapy if you need extra support. We’re here for you!